Sexual Abuse is *when a victim is forced to have sex or forced to preform sexual acts that they have verbal said "No" or "I do NOT WANT TO!"
In most cases of sexual abuse never gets reported. Many victim's of sexual abuse do NOT open up & talk about it, & if or when the victim does talk about the abuse, report the abuse, or tell someone about the abuse it is usually many years later mainly because:
* They (are/were) scared. In many cases the abuser threatens to do bodily harm or threatens to kill the victim &/or the victim's families.
* Many victim's don't like to report or talk about the abuse because they feel guilty. Many victims feel like the abuse was their fault & they somehow caused the abuse to happen.
* Many victim's are ashamed or embarrassed.
* Many victim's don't feel like anybody will believe them.
There are 2 types of sexual abuse:
* Molestation is when a child is sexually touched by an adult.
* Rape is when someone is forcing sexual acts, such as have sex, intercourse, oral sex, or is made to sexually touched or been touched by anyone who has said "NO" to or has rejected any &/or all sexual advances! Rape also includes sexually touching or any sexual advances without a person giving you permission to do so. Another form of Rape is sexually touching, or making sexual acts on someone who is "sleeping" or "uncounsious".
WARNING SIGNS OF SEXUAL ABUSE:
* The victim may cry or be emotional more than usual.
* The victim may become depressed.
* The victim may isolate themselves.
* The victim's demeanor or attitude may change in general or around a specific person who may have abused them.
WARNING SIGNS OF SEXUAL ABUSE IN CHILDREN:
* The child's behavior may change dramatically.
* Most children will act out @ home & @ school.
* Most children will have a dramatic change in attitude.
* Most children will start to misbehave or get in trouble @ school &/or @ home.
* The child may start to wet/pee in the bed.
* The child may act out sexual by sexually touching other children or adults.
* Children may start to have nightmares.
* Many children may sexual touch toys such as bears, baby dolls, or Barbie dolls. Children may start to destroy their toys.
Life Is What You Make It! No Matter Where You're From, How You Were Raised, or Situations You Have Lived...... It's Your Life! Make It What YOU WANT IT 2 BE!!!! I WILL SHARE WITH YOU HOW I LEARNED FROM THE TRAUMA OF MY LIFE CHANGED MY FUTURE IN A MAJOR POSITIVE WAY1
Friday, September 20, 2019
Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Mental Abuse is when the "Abuser" will make the "Victim" feel sad, mad, depressed, or make them (victim) feel guilty when they (the victim) has done nothing wrong. The "abuser" will "play with the victim's emotions", or the "abuser" will " push the victim's buttons", so 2 speak.
EXAMPLES OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE:
* The "abuser" will critize the
"victim & the victim's actions" by
telling the victim that they can't
do anything right.
* The "abuser" will attack the "victim's character" by calling the
victim names like, *itch,
*hore, stupid, *lut, ect, as if it was the "victim's name".
WARNING SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE:
* Often when you call the " victim"
they will say that " They Can't
Talk"
* The "victim" will speak in a low
tone of voice, such as a "whisper".
* When you ask a victim "What's
Wrong?" the " victim" will often
reply with
• " I'm Fine".
• " Nothing Is Wrong."
• " It's not important."
EXAMPLES OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE:
* The "abuser" will critize the
"victim & the victim's actions" by
telling the victim that they can't
do anything right.
* The "abuser" will attack the "victim's character" by calling the
victim names like, *itch,
*hore, stupid, *lut, ect, as if it was the "victim's name".
WARNING SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE:
* Often when you call the " victim"
they will say that " They Can't
Talk"
* The "victim" will speak in a low
tone of voice, such as a "whisper".
* When you ask a victim "What's
Wrong?" the " victim" will often
reply with
• " I'm Fine".
• " Nothing Is Wrong."
• " It's not important."
Mental Abuse
Mental Abuse in many cases the "Abusers" make the "Victims" feel worthless , the "abuser" will make comments putting down on the "Victim". The "abusers" makes the "Victims" feel like they are nothing.
Examples of Mental Abuse:
* The "Abuser" makes the "Victim" feel like they, (the victim), are beneath them, (the Abuser).
∆ "Abuser" tells the "Victim" :
they(victim), are nothing without them(abuser).
* The "abuser" will critize the "victim" & everything that the "victim" does.
∆ "abuser" tells the "victim" that they(victim) can't do anything right.
* The "abuser" will curse the "victim" & call them(victim) names
WARNING SIGNS OF MENTAL ABUSE:
* The victim will have low self
esteem.
* The victim will make negative
comments about themselves.
* When asked 2 go somewhere
the victim will make excuses
why they "Can't Go"
In most cases the "victim" will make excuses why they can't go because they are in fear that they will be accused of cheating or in fear that the "abuser" will get upset/mad.
Examples of Mental Abuse:
* The "Abuser" makes the "Victim" feel like they, (the victim), are beneath them, (the Abuser).
∆ "Abuser" tells the "Victim" :
they(victim), are nothing without them(abuser).
* The "abuser" will critize the "victim" & everything that the "victim" does.
∆ "abuser" tells the "victim" that they(victim) can't do anything right.
* The "abuser" will curse the "victim" & call them(victim) names
WARNING SIGNS OF MENTAL ABUSE:
* The victim will have low self
esteem.
* The victim will make negative
comments about themselves.
* When asked 2 go somewhere
the victim will make excuses
why they "Can't Go"
In most cases the "victim" will make excuses why they can't go because they are in fear that they will be accused of cheating or in fear that the "abuser" will get upset/mad.
Forms of Abuse
There are many forms of ABUSE!
* Physical Abuse
* Mental Abuse
* Emotional Abuse
* Sexual Abuse
I have experienced all 4 types of abuse. I am a " Survivor", NOT A VICTIM!
Based on my life experiences, in my opinion I would have 2 say that Sexual, Mental, & Emotional Abuse are the worse because the marks, ( brushes, red marks, & black eyes), from physical abuse will go away. However any person who has suffered from mental, emotional, & sexual abuse carries that pain throughout their life. Some work hard 2 over come it, while others lives are changed in a negative way. Often people try 2 cover up the pain by self medicating with alcohol &/or drugs 2 try 2 numb the emotional pain. I have NO DOUBT that most drug users & abusers have been abused!
* Physical Abuse
* Mental Abuse
* Emotional Abuse
* Sexual Abuse
I have experienced all 4 types of abuse. I am a " Survivor", NOT A VICTIM!
Based on my life experiences, in my opinion I would have 2 say that Sexual, Mental, & Emotional Abuse are the worse because the marks, ( brushes, red marks, & black eyes), from physical abuse will go away. However any person who has suffered from mental, emotional, & sexual abuse carries that pain throughout their life. Some work hard 2 over come it, while others lives are changed in a negative way. Often people try 2 cover up the pain by self medicating with alcohol &/or drugs 2 try 2 numb the emotional pain. I have NO DOUBT that most drug users & abusers have been abused!
Physical Abuse
Physical Abuse is when somebody physically touches someone with the intent 2 harm them.
Examples:
* Hitting, punching, slapping, kicking, burning, chocking, ect that leaves a physical marks.
WARNING SIGNS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE:
* Brusing
* Black Eyes
* Finger or hand prints in the form
of red marks &/or brushing.
* Bleeding from nose, mouth, or
other body parts.
* Small or large scratches similar 2
cut marks
In most cases the person who is being abused, " VICTIM while still IN THE ABUSIVE SITUATION "
"SURVIVOR once OUT OF THE ABUSIVE SITUATION"
Most Victim's make excuses for their Abusers. Most Victims will show you WARNING SIGNS. You just need to know what 2 notice or look for.
WARNING SIGNS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE:
* In most cases the " Victim " will down play the incident or situation by making excuses 4 the "Abuser"
Victim's "Excuses" " Defense" Statements:
• "It was an accident."
• " He/She was just upset."
• " It's nothing."
• " I fell" " I ran into something."
• " I shouldn't have done ? ."
• " It's my fault." Or " I shouldn't have ? ."
Physical Abuse & Domestic Violence Information Websites
*Abusive Relationship Trap | 10 Signs Of Abuse
Ad·www.activebeat.com/Abusive/Health
https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjJrsWtlODkAhUE28AKHUmQDnUYABAGGgJpbQ&ae=1&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESEOD2xLOfoGKBh_xRjuOfbgM&sig=AOD64_2lNPSiDHtBHCgS4z_aekSOEdy8GQ&q&adurl=https://m.activebeat.com/your-health/10-telling-signs-youre-trapped-in-an-abusive-relationship/?utm_medium%3Dcpc%26utm_source%3Dgoogle%26utm_campaign%3DAB_GGL_US_MOBI-SearchMarketing_TR%26utm_content%3Dg_m_303651852154%26cus_widget%3D%26utm_term%3Dabusive%2520relationships%2520hotline%26cus_teaser%3Dkwd-3423217721%26utm_acid%3D3040947159%26utm_caid%3D1599827680%26utm_agid%3D60091226363%26utm_os%3D%26gclid%3DCjwKCAjw8ZHsBRA6EiwA7hw_se_XSUDb2ZjBvntxPgYJ43-yoyvbnpZhJG_ld7fgSkk7w77D3KW2yBoC5qEQAvD_BwE&ved=2ahUKEwiPurmtlODkAhVKCKwKHRmpB8kQ0Qx6BAgREAE
Examples:
* Hitting, punching, slapping, kicking, burning, chocking, ect that leaves a physical marks.
WARNING SIGNS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE:
* Brusing
* Black Eyes
* Finger or hand prints in the form
of red marks &/or brushing.
* Bleeding from nose, mouth, or
other body parts.
* Small or large scratches similar 2
cut marks
In most cases the person who is being abused, " VICTIM while still IN THE ABUSIVE SITUATION "
"SURVIVOR once OUT OF THE ABUSIVE SITUATION"
Most Victim's make excuses for their Abusers. Most Victims will show you WARNING SIGNS. You just need to know what 2 notice or look for.
WARNING SIGNS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE:
* In most cases the " Victim " will down play the incident or situation by making excuses 4 the "Abuser"
Victim's "Excuses" " Defense" Statements:
• "It was an accident."
• " He/She was just upset."
• " It's nothing."
• " I fell" " I ran into something."
• " I shouldn't have done ? ."
• " It's my fault." Or " I shouldn't have ? ."
Physical Abuse & Domestic Violence Information Websites
*Abusive Relationship Trap | 10 Signs Of Abuse
Ad·www.activebeat.com/Abusive/Health
https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjJrsWtlODkAhUE28AKHUmQDnUYABAGGgJpbQ&ae=1&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESEOD2xLOfoGKBh_xRjuOfbgM&sig=AOD64_2lNPSiDHtBHCgS4z_aekSOEdy8GQ&q&adurl=https://m.activebeat.com/your-health/10-telling-signs-youre-trapped-in-an-abusive-relationship/?utm_medium%3Dcpc%26utm_source%3Dgoogle%26utm_campaign%3DAB_GGL_US_MOBI-SearchMarketing_TR%26utm_content%3Dg_m_303651852154%26cus_widget%3D%26utm_term%3Dabusive%2520relationships%2520hotline%26cus_teaser%3Dkwd-3423217721%26utm_acid%3D3040947159%26utm_caid%3D1599827680%26utm_agid%3D60091226363%26utm_os%3D%26gclid%3DCjwKCAjw8ZHsBRA6EiwA7hw_se_XSUDb2ZjBvntxPgYJ43-yoyvbnpZhJG_ld7fgSkk7w77D3KW2yBoC5qEQAvD_BwE&ved=2ahUKEwiPurmtlODkAhVKCKwKHRmpB8kQ0Qx6BAgREAE
Labels:
Abuse,
Forms of Abuse
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
Racism
To judge somebody by the color of their skin is completely ignorant & ridiculous!
I am so proud to say that this country has came a long way away from being as judgemental as it use to be when it comes to critizing people based on the color of their skin! However, we also have a long way to go in putting a stop to the problem.
We NEED TO TEACH OUR KIDS NOT TO SEE SOMEBODY'S SKIN COLOR, BUT TO SEE THEIR PERSONALITY, THEIR HEART, & TO SEE WHO THEY ARE AS A PERSON!!!!
True Story:
When I was going to middle school & high school I was bullied, picked on, rejected, & bullied just because of the color of my skin. I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere.
The "white kids" rejected me because I was too dark to be white & the " colored kids" rejected me because I was not dark enough, in other words too light to be black.
When I was in school, I got so tired of people asking me, "What are you mixed with?" "What color are you?"
I always replied with, "I'm mixed with my Mom & Dad!!!!" "Mind your business!!!!!"
I was raised to see people's personality & their heart! I guess that's why I could never understand why the color of my skin mattered & was so important to everyone else.
I couldn't understand because the color of my skin had absolutely nothing to do with who I was & am as a person!
For All Of The Judgemental Racist People In The World, I have a News Flash 4 You:
NOBODY HAS THE OPTION OF PICKING & CHOOSING WHAT OUR SKIN COLOR TURNS OUT TO BE!!!!
WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER WHAT OUR SKIN COLOR IS!!!!!
SO before you decide to judge someone by the color of their skin, you need to open your mind & judge yourself on how ignorant you sound by judging somebody on something that "we/they" have no control of & no option of choosing!!!!
Nobody can help what color we are born as no more than we can help who we are born to.
I am PROUD of who I am & my nationality!!!! I am White, Black, Indian, & German!
So if you have a problem with me or the color of my skin, that's your problem, NOT MINE!
If my skin color is your problem, I would have to say that you have a bigger problem with yourself than you have with the color of my skin!!!!
ALL SKIN COLOR TYPES ARE BEAUTIFUL ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW THE PERSONALITY, HEART, & THE PERSON WHO LIVES INSIDE OF THE SKIN!!!!!
This is me! What am I mixed with? I am mixed with my Mom & Dad just like everybody else!!!!
I am White, Black, Indian, & German!
Regardless of what my color is..... I am HAPPY to be ME!!!!
I am White, Black, Indian, & German!
Regardless of what my color is..... I am HAPPY to be ME!!!!
Monday, July 22, 2019
Starting Over After a Divorce
Starting over after divorce is one of the most hardest tasks that you will have 2 deal with in life! Expecially if you are a single M💞M raising kids by yourself without a job or any income, & is even harder without a vehicle!
Even though the only reason that my soon 2 be ex-husband has our only means of transportation, which is a 4 door Dodge Ram Truck, with a V8 engine, that he has already dogged out so much it's not running because something is wrong with the engine, is because I let him claim me & my kids in his taxes, which he would have had 2 pay in $300, had I NOT let him claim us. I didn't want the truck because I knew that it was only gonna be a matter of time before it broke down, & I knew that without a job, there was absolutely no way in hell that I would be able to have it fixed. The power steering pump went out before he blew the motor up in it.
Now without a job & looking, while I am trying 2 start my nursing classes in August, I am really stressed out & struggling emotionally, mentally, & physically trying 2 get back on my feet & get my life together! Which is almost extremely impossible 2 do without any $, no job, expecially no vehicle, & having to depend on my Mom any time I need a ride because I don't have any gas $ to give her & she damn sure can't afford 2 help me because she herself is on a fixed income. Idk where her $ goes because she lives in my yard that I am having 2 pay rent for, she pays $100 on a light bill that runs $280 a month, her cell phone bill, storage unit, & a cable bill, is the only bills she has.
My kids bilogical father died about 2-3 years ago. He was drinking & driving when he crashed in2 & killed a mother & her 2 daughters. Not that he has been any help raising my kids anyway because I admit I wouldn't let him be a Dad. I told him that he has 1 of 2 options. He can quit drinking & be a Dad, or he can keep drinking & not see his kids because I would be dammed if he was gonna be driving around drunk, which he loved 2 do & always did because as most drunks do they swear that they can drive better drunk than sober, & end up killing my kids & someone else's 2!
Before he even died, I always told my kids that drinking & driving was gonna be the way he died & when he did he was gonna end up taking the life of an innocent person & their kids.
I always told my kids that "When he's drunk he's not responsible for hisself much less them 2" & "I Will NOT & Will NEVER Sacrifice Their Lives 4 Him 2 Be a Dad 2 Them" I also told my kids that "They Are Better Off Without A Dad, than 2 Have an Alcoholic Dad!"
So, needless 2 say he has never been any help & he has never bought them anything @ all, not even a birthday card.
I hate 2 say it but he has done more for my kids being dead than he has ever done 4 them when he was alive! I get a survivors benefit check from social security that is $638 a month & that is my ONLY INCOME, so by the time that I pay my lot rent $160, my light bill $280, my cell phone bill, which is prepaid, & my direct TV cable bill, which I just found out that you are pretty much having 2 pay the bill before you can watch it, meaning that it's pretty much prepared, by the time I pay all my bills, I don't have a $1 left.
I didn't have any $ put back or saved up. That's why I stress the point 2 every woman, expecially single M💞Ms, that it's extremely important 2 keep a cash stash, savings account, some means of $ stashed away so that when shit turns out bad, you have to leave a spouse (divorce), or if you need 2 get out of an abusive or toxic relationship, you will be ok because you have some $ put back 4 a rainy day so that you & your kids don't have 2 struggle, you have some $ to find a job or provide gas $ 4 anyone that helps you, 2 have $ for things such as your phone bill so that you can have communication for job offers ect, & most importantly so that you &/or your kids don't have 2 struggle or do without while you are looking 4 a job & trying 2 get back on your feet!
I have 2 admit if I had a $ stash I would not be struggling as bad right now.
In this stage of my life I am not only struggling but I am so overwhelmed bc I have no $, I have no job, I have no vehicle, & I am stuck until I can find a job.
* 1st I have 2 find a job. Putting in applications. Then of course I am gonna need gas $ 2 attend any interviews. Every time I interview I have gas expense of $10-$20 + the $ to go over the Causeway bridge which has went up to $5 (because I live in Franklinton Louisiana & most job interviews are in New Orleans Louisiana).
* Then I'm gonna have 2 find a way 2 get gas $, 2 get back & fourth 2 & from work, because when I do find a job it will be any where from 2-3 weeks before I get my 1st pay check, because most companies hold your check for a week or more.
* Then I am going 2 have 2 save up enough $ 2 buy a car & get it legal (Tax, Title, License, & possibly an inspection sticker).
What I stress about more than anything is having 2 depend on people to help me.
Which in my situation the only person I have 2 help me is my mom, because my daddy lives so far away from me in Virginia.
I worry about depending on my mom because not only was she a horrible mom when I was growing up, she is extremely selfish & lazy!
With that being said I prey 2 hopefully soon get a job, get a vehicle, & be able 2 work & start my nursing classes.
It's extremely hard having 2 start all the way back over after a divorce. I THANK GOD, that I had my trailer (mobile home) before I got married, & I also THANK GOD that my trailer (mobile home) is PAID FOR, because 2 be completely honest I wouldn't be able 2 afford 2 pay rent. $638 a month is almost impossible 2 live on, not counting the $ it is gonna cost 4 gas 2 get 2 however many interviews until I can find a job & the gas expense 2 be able to make it back & fourth 2 work until I get my 1st check.
ALWAYS HAVE A CASH STASH THAT ONLY YOU KNOW ABOUT!
SOMETIMES YOU
Even though the only reason that my soon 2 be ex-husband has our only means of transportation, which is a 4 door Dodge Ram Truck, with a V8 engine, that he has already dogged out so much it's not running because something is wrong with the engine, is because I let him claim me & my kids in his taxes, which he would have had 2 pay in $300, had I NOT let him claim us. I didn't want the truck because I knew that it was only gonna be a matter of time before it broke down, & I knew that without a job, there was absolutely no way in hell that I would be able to have it fixed. The power steering pump went out before he blew the motor up in it.
Now without a job & looking, while I am trying 2 start my nursing classes in August, I am really stressed out & struggling emotionally, mentally, & physically trying 2 get back on my feet & get my life together! Which is almost extremely impossible 2 do without any $, no job, expecially no vehicle, & having to depend on my Mom any time I need a ride because I don't have any gas $ to give her & she damn sure can't afford 2 help me because she herself is on a fixed income. Idk where her $ goes because she lives in my yard that I am having 2 pay rent for, she pays $100 on a light bill that runs $280 a month, her cell phone bill, storage unit, & a cable bill, is the only bills she has.
My kids bilogical father died about 2-3 years ago. He was drinking & driving when he crashed in2 & killed a mother & her 2 daughters. Not that he has been any help raising my kids anyway because I admit I wouldn't let him be a Dad. I told him that he has 1 of 2 options. He can quit drinking & be a Dad, or he can keep drinking & not see his kids because I would be dammed if he was gonna be driving around drunk, which he loved 2 do & always did because as most drunks do they swear that they can drive better drunk than sober, & end up killing my kids & someone else's 2!
Before he even died, I always told my kids that drinking & driving was gonna be the way he died & when he did he was gonna end up taking the life of an innocent person & their kids.
I always told my kids that "When he's drunk he's not responsible for hisself much less them 2" & "I Will NOT & Will NEVER Sacrifice Their Lives 4 Him 2 Be a Dad 2 Them" I also told my kids that "They Are Better Off Without A Dad, than 2 Have an Alcoholic Dad!"
So, needless 2 say he has never been any help & he has never bought them anything @ all, not even a birthday card.
I hate 2 say it but he has done more for my kids being dead than he has ever done 4 them when he was alive! I get a survivors benefit check from social security that is $638 a month & that is my ONLY INCOME, so by the time that I pay my lot rent $160, my light bill $280, my cell phone bill, which is prepaid, & my direct TV cable bill, which I just found out that you are pretty much having 2 pay the bill before you can watch it, meaning that it's pretty much prepared, by the time I pay all my bills, I don't have a $1 left.
I didn't have any $ put back or saved up. That's why I stress the point 2 every woman, expecially single M💞Ms, that it's extremely important 2 keep a cash stash, savings account, some means of $ stashed away so that when shit turns out bad, you have to leave a spouse (divorce), or if you need 2 get out of an abusive or toxic relationship, you will be ok because you have some $ put back 4 a rainy day so that you & your kids don't have 2 struggle, you have some $ to find a job or provide gas $ 4 anyone that helps you, 2 have $ for things such as your phone bill so that you can have communication for job offers ect, & most importantly so that you &/or your kids don't have 2 struggle or do without while you are looking 4 a job & trying 2 get back on your feet!
I have 2 admit if I had a $ stash I would not be struggling as bad right now.
In this stage of my life I am not only struggling but I am so overwhelmed bc I have no $, I have no job, I have no vehicle, & I am stuck until I can find a job.
* 1st I have 2 find a job. Putting in applications. Then of course I am gonna need gas $ 2 attend any interviews. Every time I interview I have gas expense of $10-$20 + the $ to go over the Causeway bridge which has went up to $5 (because I live in Franklinton Louisiana & most job interviews are in New Orleans Louisiana).
* Then I'm gonna have 2 find a way 2 get gas $, 2 get back & fourth 2 & from work, because when I do find a job it will be any where from 2-3 weeks before I get my 1st pay check, because most companies hold your check for a week or more.
* Then I am going 2 have 2 save up enough $ 2 buy a car & get it legal (Tax, Title, License, & possibly an inspection sticker).
What I stress about more than anything is having 2 depend on people to help me.
Which in my situation the only person I have 2 help me is my mom, because my daddy lives so far away from me in Virginia.
I worry about depending on my mom because not only was she a horrible mom when I was growing up, she is extremely selfish & lazy!
With that being said I prey 2 hopefully soon get a job, get a vehicle, & be able 2 work & start my nursing classes.
It's extremely hard having 2 start all the way back over after a divorce. I THANK GOD, that I had my trailer (mobile home) before I got married, & I also THANK GOD that my trailer (mobile home) is PAID FOR, because 2 be completely honest I wouldn't be able 2 afford 2 pay rent. $638 a month is almost impossible 2 live on, not counting the $ it is gonna cost 4 gas 2 get 2 however many interviews until I can find a job & the gas expense 2 be able to make it back & fourth 2 work until I get my 1st check.
ALWAYS HAVE A CASH STASH THAT ONLY YOU KNOW ABOUT!
SOMETIMES YOU
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Starting Over After a Divorce
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